Mandvi on The Daily Show

If, like me, you’re addicted to “The Daily Show” with Jon Stewart, then Aasif Mandvi needs no further introduction. If, for some reason, you don’t watch the show (what’s wrong with you? The internets flattened the world, remember? Click here to watch!) then you’ve seen him in everything from “CSI” to Spider Man 2, generally as a fleeting and funny brown presence. And if you happen to be a theater-going sort of person, you’ve seen him in all sorts of things, and may even know that he won two Obie Awards for his one-man play Sakina’s Restaurant. Multi-talented, is our Mr. Mandvi.

Anyway, the play was recently remade into a film (Today’s Special, also starring Aasif Mandvi) that’s been well-received in international film festivals. He was besieged by other press people (damn you, BBC!) at a screening in NY, but he kindly let us email questions which he promptly answered via Blackberry. Get ready for a formal exercise in true journalism:

Mandvi as Sakina, the teenaged title character of Sakina's Restaurant

What was it like to translate your play, Sakina’s Restaurant, into the film Today’s Special? Was anything lost in the process?
Yes, we lost all the Monologues, and the fact that it was a one-man show, and we lost most of the characters in the play, and we came up with all-new characters and a new storyline and all-new lines for the characters to say and… come to think of it, I don’t think the two things are related at all.

Hmm… awkward.

Today’s Special seems like a very personal film. Were any scenes lifted from reality?
Not the specific scenes but definitely some of the dialogue.

Why make the main character, Samir, a chef? Why not a comedian or an actor?
Umm… because then the story of the film wouldn’t make any sense.  Why would a Comedian want to do an apprenticeship with a great French Chef? that would confuse the audience.

You’re surrounded by an amaazing cast in the film — Naseeruddin Shah, Madhur Jaffrey, Ajay Naidu — to name just a few. Did you learn anything memorable about acting or life from anyone in particular?
Everyone you work with, when it’s a good experience you hopefully have learned something. I learned a lot from working with all these actors, I don’t remember it anymore… but I know they did teach me a lot.

Mandvi, playing doctor on CSI

What’s harder — drama or comedy? Everyone says comedy, and since you’ve done both…
Comedy is hard, but drama is harder and comedy is even harder than that and drama can be even harder than that.. and that’s on a good day.

Your family left India for England when you were one, then moved to the US when you were 16, according to Wikipedia. How much did it suck to move as a teenager? Have you been back to India?
It did suck, and yes I have been back to India…But don’t tell Wikipedia cos he doesn’t know yet…Shhh.

What’s the most offensive thing anyone’s ever said to you?
I don’t remember the most offensive thing,  but the second most offensive thing anyone ever called me was: a  motherf*@ckingdotheadtalibanterroristeatingp*##yfacedc@$ksuckera$$holesh!tstaincoloreddotragheadsan dnegropakiwalacurrybreathingsh!tlicker.

Which I definitely thought was inappropriate.

In the movie, your character dreams of an apprenticeship with Joel Robuchon. Have you eaten in any of his restaurants? What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
He actually dreams of an apprenticeship with Jaques Renaud.. who the hell is that other dude? The best meal I have ever had was a six course meal at the chef’s table in the kitchen at The London in New York.

[Edited to add: We clearly got our French chefs mixed up. The film mentions Jaques Renaud, not Joel Robuchon. Oopsies.]

As a Muslim, does it get tiring — having to explain Islam to people all the time?
It does, but I just make stuff up…like, “Muslims have to eat sorbet after morning prayers.” It actually is no more tiring than having to explain Christianity or Judaism, which I also do.

Do you pattern your character on The Daily Show, the “Chief Foreign-Looking Correspondent,” on anyone in particular?
Yes. The most handsome and smartest guy in the world…. It’s a work in progress.

On stage in Einstein's Gift (2005)

If The Daily Show, which is not a news show (according to Jon Stewart), is so good at pointing out politicians’ contradictions and breaking down world events, why on earth can’t regular mainstream media? I mean, seriously, what’s wrong with them?
They hire real journalists. If they hired monkeys riding unicycles like us, then they would be better served.

I read  that Jon Stewart hired you for The Daily Show five minutes after he interviewed you. What nailed it? Tell us the secret!!!
Mallomars!

You’ve worked with De Niro, Tony Kushner, Ricky Gervais, and M. Night Shyamalan, to name just a few. Any good behind-the-scenes stories?
Not even one…Weird right?

One of your first gigs was at a Disney theme park in Orlando, Florida. What was the job? Did you play a character?
I was in a comedy troupe where we did comedy…. as a troupe. I know that sounds complicated but it was actually pretty simple.

If you could be any animated character, which one would you pick?
Road Runner. (Hoping to parlay this into a lucrative high speed internet celebrity endorsement when this is published.

Know any good knock knock jokes?
Are there any good knock knock jokes?

What’s your favorite Desi joke that is impossible to translate to English?
It’s a Gujarati joke: how far is it from Nagpur to Kanpur?…Then you just show the length from your ear to your nose and everyone laughs and laughs.

It’s awesome.

One of these days, the _____ are gonna rise up, and then everyone’s gonna be sorry.
Rich white people

Who is a comedic genius?
Ricky Gervais

Who is a comedic idiot?
Bobby Jindal

First movie that made you laugh hysterically?
Planes Trains and Automobiles

Have you slept with Margaret Cho?
No, she’s ironically the only gay Asian American comedian I have not slept with.

What’s a word that you use that no one else uses?
It’s an ancient African word that you have to dislodge your soft palette in order to be able to pronounce. It takes a lot of training and to the average westerner it sounds like a cough. It’s meaning in English would be: “Look Out!”

Are funny people doomed to be alone, forever and ever?
F^@k you… just kidding.

Using Asian script for tattoos: good or bad?
I don’t like the term “tattoo”…I like the term “tramp stamp.” And I don’t like the term “Asian script,” I like the term “Exploiting Asian language.” So lets rephrase shall we?:

“Exploiting Asian language to create tramp stamps: good or bad?”

Hmm…I’m gonna have to think about that. Good question though.

What’s the worst band of all time?
The Rainbow colored beaded Head Band.

What would happen if light sabers existed?
Then my buddy Mike would have to pay me a thousand dollars cos he would be proved WRONG!!!